KP's entry

hi guys

Sorry for the late entry...
been caught up with works and feeling very down lately...

it has been a tough month for me...
I'm feeling like I'm at the edge of losing everything...
my thoughts on my decisions made...
maybe I'm not too ready for KL yet...
Looking back.. i never liked this place...
things happened

now my relationship with my sis-in-law is like a thin ice on the frozen lake
i was involved in an accident few days ago...
my car was sandwich after the guy in front hit an emergency brake and the lady behind banged me
i was stuck in the middle of course.. but amazingly, i escapes without a single damage on my car...
but the problem arise when my sis-in-law's mum doesn't want to claim the insurance and said something that really hurts everybody...and my bro had an argument with them
ended up I'm paying the damage for the guy in front...
and the lady at the back claimed her own insurance
after this incident, my sis-in-law mention that my bro 'sayang' me more than her
she was cold towards me...
i feel so damn guilty and hurt too...
i didn't mean for the accident to happen at all
i was driving to work as usual after all
and the fact that I'm moving to a new place next month was me trying to avoid all these hard feeling in the first place...
i knew she will be cold towards me if i stay with them longer...
Two months... and i didn't expect things to happen too fast
maybe you guys are right... I'm not suppose to come here after all

my work has been filled with uncertainties...
it really worries me
I'm trying hard not to think about it
yet it still hits me

furthermore...
Francis is leaving in September
and yet i haven't stable my life here...
i don't want him to leave with worries
he should go with peace in mind...
i need to show him i'm okay...
i really don't want him to worry bout me...
but i dunno what to do now..

*sigh*

i am really down...